Human Bixie

Why Walk?

The Problem:

It's the last leg of your commute, you're two blocks from your destination, maybe you're even in the building already. Now what? Until today you'd have to walk those last couple blocks, climb that flight of stairs, or push that button on the elevator like a barbarian.

The Solution:

Thanks to Human Bixie, your troubles are over. Our dedicated service professionals (mulemen ©) will carry you the rest of the way! You don't have to lift a finger.

FAQ'S

You say on your site that I don't have to lift a finger, but wouldn't I have to jump on the muleman's back?: Nope! Our mulemen are specially trained to handle your person like the lazy, delicate being you are. Just stand in place and let them do all the work!
Is there a limit on how many stairs we can ask them to climb?: there is no limit on what kind of terrain you can ask your muleman to traverse, but for your own comfort, you might want to put a towel between you and them on those extra long hikes.
Am I allowed to feed the muleman?: we ask that you do not feed them, as we don't know what you put in your brownies

Testimonials

getting to class has never been easier! I have a muleman pick me up from each class and drop me off at the next one! Thanks Human Bixie!
Lauren, UBC

I used to walk into people and objects on my way to class everyday. I wasn't sure if it was because I was texting or because I suck at walking, but I didn't want to stop looking at my phone to figure it out. I started reserving mulemen online and I haven't walked into anything since!
Tom, McGill